More Udurawana Jokes

Udurawana comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine" 
He Writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 compliment"

---

    
How do you recognize Udurawana in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher 
erases the board.

---

    

Once Udurawana was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So 
the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast  announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it 
would be hot.

---

   
Udurawana is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says 
"Hello, how did you know I was here?"

---

   
Udurawana bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Kandy,
where he lived, to Colombo to meet his friend. He reached there in a few 
hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up 
his mother to expect him in the evening.
But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he
finally reached home on the third day,  his distraught mother ran and asked 
him "What Happened, My Son" Udurawana got out, obviously very tired from
the long journey, and said, "These Maruti Car people  are crazy! They have 
four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!

---

   
Udurawana -why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.  
Udurawana -If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

---

   
Teacher:  "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. 
Udurawana: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

---

   
Udurawana told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.  
Udurawana:  So what? Take an umbrella and go.

---

   
Udurawana's wish: when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully
in his sleep  not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was 
driving..

---

   
A man asked Udurawana why Ratnasiri Wickramanayake goes walking in the
evening and not in the morning.
Udurawana replied "Ratnasiri is PM not AM".

More Udurawana Jokes

Udurawana comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine" 
He Writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 compliment"

---

    
How do you recognize Udurawana in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher 
erases the board.

---

    

Once Udurawana was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So 
the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast  announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it 
would be hot.

---

   
Udurawana is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says 
"Hello, how did you know I was here?"

---

   
Udurawana bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Kandy,
where he lived, to Colombo to meet his friend. He reached there in a few 
hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up 
his mother to expect him in the evening.
But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he
finally reached home on the third day,  his distraught mother ran and asked 
him "What Happened, My Son" Udurawana got out, obviously very tired from
the long journey, and said, "These Maruti Car people  are crazy! They have 
four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!

---

   
Udurawana -why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.  
Udurawana -If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

---

   
Teacher:  "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. 
Udurawana: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

---

   
Udurawana told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.  
Udurawana:  So what? Take an umbrella and go.

---

   
Udurawana's wish: when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully
in his sleep  not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was 
driving..

---

   
A man asked Udurawana why Ratnasiri Wickramanayake goes walking in the
evening and not in the morning.
Udurawana replied "Ratnasiri is PM not AM".

A kiss may kill you

">

A kiss may kill you

">

Difference between A car launch and A truck launch

Difference between A car launch and A truck launch

Drive your way

Drive your way

Picture of the Year

Picture of the Year

The Wise Wife

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up" "Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish.But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?"

You'll love the answer...


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.. 
..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..

The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box.....

The Wise Wife

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up" "Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish.But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?"

You'll love the answer...


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.. 
..
..
..
..

..
..
..
..

The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box.....

NO speak English

There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman  and they
lived in Honolulu .

The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to
communicate with her husband.  The real problem arose whenever she had 

 to shop for  groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy a leg of mutton She 

 didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted 

 up her skirt to show her thighs. 

The butcher got the message and the lady went home with mutton legs.
 

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't
know
how

to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the  butcher her
breast.
The lady got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.  Unable to find a
way
to

communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... (Please
scroll page down.) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 What were you thinking?








 

 

 

 


Helloooooooooo , her husband speaks English!!
Now get back to work...........  

NO speak English

There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman  and they
lived in Honolulu .

The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to
communicate with her husband.  The real problem arose whenever she had 

 to shop for  groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy a leg of mutton She 

 didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted 

 up her skirt to show her thighs. 

The butcher got the message and the lady went home with mutton legs.
 

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't
know
how

to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the  butcher her
breast.
The lady got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.  Unable to find a
way
to

communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... (Please
scroll page down.) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 What were you thinking?








 

 

 

 


Helloooooooooo , her husband speaks English!!
Now get back to work...........  

TOP 10 WOMAN DRIVERS OF THE YEAR

TOP 10  WOMAN DRIVERS OF THE YEAR

10th PLACE GOES TO 

 

9th PLACE GOES TO 

Who put the rock there?

8th PLACE GOES TO 
7th PLACE GOES TO 
6th PLACE GOES TO 
5th PLACE GOES TO 
4th PLACE GOES TO 
THE BRONZE MEDAL GOES TO 
THE SILVER MEDAL GOES TO 
THE GOLD MEDAL WINNER 

  
For you that don't get, the helmet is on backwards. 

TOP 10 WOMAN DRIVERS OF THE YEAR

TOP 10  WOMAN DRIVERS OF THE YEAR

10th PLACE GOES TO 

 

9th PLACE GOES TO 

Who put the rock there?

8th PLACE GOES TO 
7th PLACE GOES TO 
6th PLACE GOES TO 
5th PLACE GOES TO 
4th PLACE GOES TO 
THE BRONZE MEDAL GOES TO 
THE SILVER MEDAL GOES TO 
THE GOLD MEDAL WINNER 

  
For you that don't get, the helmet is on backwards. 

Men are from Mars!

Men are from Mars!

Udurawana Jokes

BOSS

There were three workers - Udurawana, an Italian, and a Jewish who worked together at a factory. Every day they noticed that their boss would leave work a little early.

So one day they meet together and decide they too would leave early that day if the boss left early.

As expected the boss left before closing time and the three of them too left the factory early.

The Jewish guy went home and rests so he can get an
early start.

The Italian guy goes home and cooks dinner.

Udurawana too rushes home. He walks up to his bedroom, opens the door slowly to surprise his wife only to see her in bed with his boss.

He quickly shuts the door and leaves.



The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking and plan to go home early again. They ask Udurawana if he too wants to leave early again. Udurawana says that he wouldn't do it again. The others ask him why and he replies,

"Because yesterday I almost got caught!"

Jump

Once a building caught fire and two guys and a Udurawana were trapped in the balcony.

On the ground, fire fighters caught hold of a net and asked them to jump.
The first one jumped but the fire fighters removed the net and he was killed. Then the other guy was asked to jump and again they removed the net too soon and he
was dead.

Seeing all this, Udurawana was furious and said: "You keep the net on the ground and get away from it. I don't trust you.

Suger Level

Oneday Udurawanna's wife noticed that he kept going to the kitchen and always touching the sugar bowl.

He was doing this every few minutes and writing them down.

The wife was curious and asked Udurawanna why he was doing that ?

Udurawanna replied " Darling the doctor told me to keep an eye on the sugar levels regularly".

So I am checking the sugar levels and noting them down !!

Lesbian

Udurawana and his friend are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Udurawana noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner.

As he was getting up to talk to her. Bar Tender said "Hey don't worry about her, She is a lesbian! ".

Udurawana "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them"

Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said "Where exactly in Lesbia, are you from?"

Parrot

Udurawana's wife went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said Rs 250. "Why so cheap?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and wispered, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." 

Mr Udurawana thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad." When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later Udurawana, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "New house, new madam, new girls, but same old customer!, Hello Udurawana !"

Udurawana Jokes

BOSS

There were three workers - Udurawana, an Italian, and a Jewish who worked together at a factory. Every day they noticed that their boss would leave work a little early.

So one day they meet together and decide they too would leave early that day if the boss left early.

As expected the boss left before closing time and the three of them too left the factory early.

The Jewish guy went home and rests so he can get an
early start.

The Italian guy goes home and cooks dinner.

Udurawana too rushes home. He walks up to his bedroom, opens the door slowly to surprise his wife only to see her in bed with his boss.

He quickly shuts the door and leaves.



The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking and plan to go home early again. They ask Udurawana if he too wants to leave early again. Udurawana says that he wouldn't do it again. The others ask him why and he replies,

"Because yesterday I almost got caught!"

Jump

Once a building caught fire and two guys and a Udurawana were trapped in the balcony.

On the ground, fire fighters caught hold of a net and asked them to jump.
The first one jumped but the fire fighters removed the net and he was killed. Then the other guy was asked to jump and again they removed the net too soon and he
was dead.

Seeing all this, Udurawana was furious and said: "You keep the net on the ground and get away from it. I don't trust you.

Suger Level

Oneday Udurawanna's wife noticed that he kept going to the kitchen and always touching the sugar bowl.

He was doing this every few minutes and writing them down.

The wife was curious and asked Udurawanna why he was doing that ?

Udurawanna replied " Darling the doctor told me to keep an eye on the sugar levels regularly".

So I am checking the sugar levels and noting them down !!

Lesbian

Udurawana and his friend are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Udurawana noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner.

As he was getting up to talk to her. Bar Tender said "Hey don't worry about her, She is a lesbian! ".

Udurawana "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them"

Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said "Where exactly in Lesbia, are you from?"

Parrot

Udurawana's wife went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said Rs 250. "Why so cheap?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and wispered, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." 

Mr Udurawana thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad." When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later Udurawana, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "New house, new madam, new girls, but same old customer!, Hello Udurawana !"

Bathiya and Santhush

The Last Will

Bathiya and Santhush

The Last Will

The Telegram

The Telegram

Bunty

Bunty

Ali Patiyo Oyai Mamai….

Ali Patiyo Oyai Mamai….

Ali Patiyo Oyai Mamai….

Ali Patiyo Oyai Mamai….

Old days of studio photography....The Top 4 Poses!!!..

Pose No. 1



Please don’t laugh…

Pose No. 2





Ok... just wait…check this one 
Pose No. 3



And the winner is

.

.

.

.

.
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.


 

Old days of studio photography....The Top 4 Poses!!!..

Pose No. 1



Please don’t laugh…

Pose No. 2





Ok... just wait…check this one 
Pose No. 3



And the winner is

.

.

.

.

.
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.


 

New West Indies Cricket player puts Sri Lankan commentators in trouble

This is sooooooooooooooooooooo    funny :-) New West Indies Cricket player puts Sri Lankan cricket commentators in troubleThis new West Indies Cricket player - Yannic Cariah - from Trinidad will surely put Sinhalese Cricket commentators and fans in trouble
Check out the Attachment !
 This upcoming windies player is currently playing for their Under 19 team in NZ and has promised a lot for the future – not only with his playing, but with his Surname – specially for the Sri Lankan public. I mean, it will be quite tough for Sri Lankan commentators and quite a spectacle for the cricket lovers when this guy grows up to represent the Windies 1^stEleven ha ??

Imagine the commentators going like this :

• __Cariah__Wicket Eka Dawa gaththa
• ___Cariah_____ Haye paharak Ella Kala
• ____Cariah___ Hathre paharak ella kala
• _____Cariah_____ Uda Panduwa Atha hariya
• ______Cariah__Uda Panduwa Raka gaththa

 Wow !!!
I am sure that Mr. Premasara Epasinghe would retire from commentaries !!!

New West Indies Cricket player puts Sri Lankan commentators in trouble

This is sooooooooooooooooooooo    funny :-) New West Indies Cricket player puts Sri Lankan cricket commentators in troubleThis new West Indies Cricket player - Yannic Cariah - from Trinidad will surely put Sinhalese Cricket commentators and fans in trouble
Check out the Attachment !
 This upcoming windies player is currently playing for their Under 19 team in NZ and has promised a lot for the future – not only with his playing, but with his Surname – specially for the Sri Lankan public. I mean, it will be quite tough for Sri Lankan commentators and quite a spectacle for the cricket lovers when this guy grows up to represent the Windies 1^stEleven ha ??

Imagine the commentators going like this :

• __Cariah__Wicket Eka Dawa gaththa
• ___Cariah_____ Haye paharak Ella Kala
• ____Cariah___ Hathre paharak ella kala
• _____Cariah_____ Uda Panduwa Atha hariya
• ______Cariah__Uda Panduwa Raka gaththa

 Wow !!!
I am sure that Mr. Premasara Epasinghe would retire from commentaries !!!