Jokes

Man comes home , finds his wife with his friend in bed .
He shoots his friend to death .
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends" .

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Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother "
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

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 What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

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Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
                         Without Information F ighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means , With I diot For E ver !!!"

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Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress , tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: u know the importance of period ?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

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Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S ?
Bcoz people started licking the wrong side.

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Women asked man who is traveling with six children,  all these kids are urs??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

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Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How urs look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes . Wat abt urs?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!

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Son and his firend asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, im confident. ur friend also my  son, that's
confidential!

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Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this right time we shud talk abt sex.
Daughter: Sure mom, tell me wat u want to know.
Mom:##??!!

Jokes

Man comes home , finds his wife with his friend in bed .
He shoots his friend to death .
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends" .

****************************************************************

Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother "
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

****************************************************************

 What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

****************************************************************

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
                         Without Information F ighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means , With I diot For E ver !!!"

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Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress , tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
Panic is when both are pregnant.

****************************************************************

Teacher: u know the importance of period ?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

****************************************************************

Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S ?
Bcoz people started licking the wrong side.

****************************************************************

Women asked man who is traveling with six children,  all these kids are urs??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

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Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How urs look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes . Wat abt urs?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!

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Son and his firend asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, im confident. ur friend also my  son, that's
confidential!

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Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this right time we shud talk abt sex.
Daughter: Sure mom, tell me wat u want to know.
Mom:##??!!

Why Herose Start to wear cloths ???

Very cute!

WHY Did I Start to WEAR CLOTHES
Early experiences that convince me to clothe myself..... 

Hope U guys also had same experience like me ???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If this brightened your day
Don't let it stop here
Pass it on with a smile
keep spreading the cheer!

Please pass this on to your friends , relatives and all over the world! 

 

Why Herose Start to wear cloths ???

Very cute!

WHY Did I Start to WEAR CLOTHES
Early experiences that convince me to clothe myself..... 

Hope U guys also had same experience like me ???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If this brightened your day
Don't let it stop here
Pass it on with a smile
keep spreading the cheer!

Please pass this on to your friends , relatives and all over the world! 

 

Even Every CROW has its day..

IT IS SAID THAT, "EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY".
BUT EVERY CROW HAS ITS DAY TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If u don't believe me, check this out------------ 
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Even Every CROW has its day..

IT IS SAID THAT, "EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY".
BUT EVERY CROW HAS ITS DAY TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If u don't believe me, check this out------------ 
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More Udurawana Jokes

Udurawana comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine" 
He Writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 compliment"

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How do you recognize Udurawana in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher 
erases the board.

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Once Udurawana was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So 
the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast  announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it 
would be hot.

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Udurawana is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says 
"Hello, how did you know I was here?"

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Udurawana bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Kandy,
where he lived, to Colombo to meet his friend. He reached there in a few 
hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up 
his mother to expect him in the evening.
But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he
finally reached home on the third day,  his distraught mother ran and asked 
him "What Happened, My Son" Udurawana got out, obviously very tired from
the long journey, and said, "These Maruti Car people  are crazy! They have 
four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!

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Udurawana -why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.  
Udurawana -If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

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Teacher:  "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. 
Udurawana: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

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Udurawana told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.  
Udurawana:  So what? Take an umbrella and go.

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Udurawana's wish: when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully
in his sleep  not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was 
driving..

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A man asked Udurawana why Ratnasiri Wickramanayake goes walking in the
evening and not in the morning.
Udurawana replied "Ratnasiri is PM not AM".